My Mistake

My Mistake

I think I set myself up again.
This part has been written for quite some time.
You don’t have to spell it out for me.
I can read inbetween the lines.

Chorus:
Oh wait, my mistake.
I forgot this story doesn’t end happy.
Not for me at least.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
I don’t need eloquently written words for your reasons why.
All you really have to do is say goodbye.

I’ve relinquished control.
I’m learning what it means to be weak.
I’m finding it won’t make a difference to you.
That I can already see.

Chorus:
Oh wait, my mistake.
I forgot this story doesn’t end happy.
Not for me at least.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
I don’t need eloquently written words for your reasons why.
All you really have to do is say goodbye.

I’m a mess of contradictions.
When I say go I really mean stay.
So what do you think it means when I say I never want to see your face?

Chorus:
Oh wait, my mistake.
I forgot this story doesn’t end happy.
Not for me at least.
I don’t know what I was expecting.
I don’t need eloquently written words for your reasons why.
All you really have to do is say goodbye.

Overlooked Possibility

Just a short poem I thought of. I wrote this with the assistance of my cousin Ashley.

Overlooked Possibility

You may not remember our introduction.
Our paths crossed for just a moment.
At the time my attention was averted.
Too young to realize future possibilities.
I now think about you constantly.
I find it likely that you could be perfection.
Separated by the wrong place and time.
I am flawed by wishful thinking of meeting again.
I have always been devastatingly drawn to a guy who can play guitar.

Our Escape

Our Escape

Why do you stand there silent?
I know you must have something to say.
I’ve been waiting for a response.
Some kind of reaction.
I need to know it will all be ok.

Chorus:
What if I said there was a plane ticket with your name on it?
It could be our escape.
Always struggling to stay free.
I’m tired of the same view.
We could sit on the beach in Mexico.
It really doesn’t matter as long as it’s you and me.

I know it’s misguided.
But I need to put my faith in something tangible.
Something I can see.
We’ve lost control of all our surroundings.
I need a change of scenery.

Chorus:
What if I said there was a plane ticket with your name on it?
It could be our escape.
Always struggling to stay free.
I’m tired of the same view.
London, Paris, or maybe Rome.
It really doesn’t matter as long as it’s you and me.

My heart is set on a new adventure.
I can have my bags packed by later today.
Stop making excuses about responsibilities.
I know for us they can all wait.

Chorus:
What if I said there was a plane ticket with your name on it?
It could be our escape.
Always struggling to stay free.
I’m tired of the same view.
We could learn a new language by the Mediterranean Sea.
It really doesn’t matter as long as it’s you and me.

Life Set to Cynical

So here is the first song I have written in well over a year. I'm so happy with how it turned out. I knew creating this blog would lead to good things.

Life Set to Cynical

I can assure you I’m not as sad as I seem.
As I walk down the same path always expecting to end up in different places.
Which leads to me realize I’m not living the dream.
With the same circumstances only new faces.

Chorus:
If I wanted to take it all back today,
I wouldn’t know where to begin.
I wouldn’t know what to say.
I know you never expected anything different.
I only excel at self-sabotage and pushing people away.

I second guess myself all the time.
I hide behind the words I write on the page.
Your reasoning as to why is as good as mine.
I never promised to be an easy person to gauge.

Chorus:
If I wanted to take it all back today,
I wouldn’t know where to begin.
I wouldn’t know what to say.
I know you never expected anything different.
I only excel at self-sabotage and pushing people away.

And if I have my life set to cynical, does that make me damaged?
If I never believe you,
will I always be one breath away from breakable?
Though my intentions are transparent, I promise I can manage.

Chorus:
If I wanted to take it all back today,
I wouldn’t know where to begin.
I wouldn’t know what to say.
I know you never expected anything different.
I only excel at self-sabotage and pushing people away.

Tears in Room 311

I said I would be writing new things constantly, and here is a brand new poem. This is the first thing I've written in over a year which is very exciting to me. I hope you all like it!

Tears in Room 311

I spent hours crying on a hotel bed.
Listened to all of the sad songs I owned.
Mascara streamed down my face in black lines.
Finally allowing myself to feel.
I staged a personal boycott until I was too tired to care.
I put on my best red lipstick and went downstairs to join the crowd.
I realize how pathetic it was in retrospect.
I never wanted to be a flowers-fix-all girl.

Scattering Weaknesses

These are lyrics I wrote specifically for my musical. I just realized that part of these lyrics were taken from a different set of lyrics. I'm a song recycler.

Scattering Weaknesses

Your weaknesses crumble me.
I’m breaking apart.
Pieces of me are scattering on the floor.
Having to stay strong is too much.
I can’t care if you can’t trust.
There’s no more to give, and nothing is ever enough.

Love to you is placing blame.
Making others the reason for your unending pain.
I’m already drawn into this mess.
I have no defenses.

If I could just get through.
Tear down the walls you have conveniently built.
I can’t create what is not there.
I won’t take the fall.
I can’t care if you can’t trust.
There’s no more to give and nothing is ever enough.

On a Saturday Night

I plan on attempting to write music to these lyrics soon. This is another one of my favorites.

On a Saturday Night

Blending into the leather couch.
So rigid and cold.
Listening to the dreams of someone else.
Can I try to make you smile today?

Chorus:
I could be your vision, be your muse.
Just to be in your world.
I would live through the songs you sing on a Saturday night.
Is this what you say to a guy who has it all?

Your light draws my mind.
So afraid of falling.
I'd still take the chance to find someone that mirrors me.

Chorus:
I could be your vision, be your muse.
Just to be in your world.
I would live through the songs you sing on a Saturday night.
Is this what you say to a guy who has it all?

Don't you see how much you shine?
What I'd give for you to let me in.

Musician's Show

This is a really wordy song. At one point I cut the lyrics down, but I lost that copy.

Musician's Show

I saw my friend the other day.
He hugged me and smiled and we talked for a while.
Not an inch of attraction was there as I pulled away from the curb.
This isn't how my imagination had planned it to be.

Chorus:
The clock on the wall keeps ticking away.
My piano is the only thing that knows how to play.
Everything else just sits in dust.
I put on my fake happy smile as I try to live for a while.
I pretend to have it all figured out.
Such a lie as I'm really just lonely.

I met a man who said how horrible it must be to feel numb.
I thought to myself that's how I feel everyday.
It's like watching your life as a movie.
Never really a part of things in a way.

Chorus:
The clock on the wall keeps ticking away.
My piano is the only thing that knows how to play.
Everything else just sits in dust.
I put on my fake happy smile as I try to live for a while.
I pretend to have it all figured out.
Such a lie as I'm really just lonely.

Sitting and watching the musician's show is how I spend my days.
Hoping somehow every song is about me.
I find peace in the past and every time he looks up to glance is old love being given back.
Play on and maybe someday I'll feel complete.

Stars Listen

Stars Listen

Blue rubber bands painfully break on the wrists of the one who confuses me the most.
Every word he speaks is poison in its entirety.
I sit and ponder my next step, every moment trying not to fall.
Every day it consumes me more than the next.
It's tragic, I don't think I know who he is anymore.
All he has to turn to is the stars.
They alone will listen.

Autumn at Lawrence

These last two poems and three songs were all written during college.

Autumn at Lawrence

Tick, tock. Tick, tock.
As I sit and slowly watch the minutes go by.
Sitting in an old wooden desk that is probably older than me.
Picking up a piece of paper and writing.
Nothing worthwhile, just foolish things.
Staring at the clock again.
Every minute passing by, getting closer to the end.
Enter into a hallway aptly lit.
Flip, flop. Flip, flop.
Climbing up an endless stairway.
Just straight, no excitement.
Where are the twists and turns?
Drip, drop. Drip, drop.
It's raining and I have no umbrella.
Leaves are falling, berries dying.
Crossing a bridge and I feel off-balanced.
Look down at the street below.
Wherever I am walking to this time, I am not alone.

Finally Free

The only song I wrote during my Senior year of high school.

Finally Free

Sometimes I feel I'm slipping away.
Life gets hard to take.
I want to get back to how I used to be.
When I knew how to smile, but that was long ago.

Reality has crushed my dreams.
It has taken everything out of me.
Numbness is setting in.
Lead me to where my pain will be healed.
Set me free, finally free.

How do you get rid of the emptiness?
The dark that takes over the light.
Somewhere along the way I lost my path.
I could not say where I thought it would take me.

You

This is the only poem I wrote during Senior year of high school.

You

The same thing that makes me hate makes me love.
The reason I smile is why I cry.
What causes me to suffer brings me happiness.
The one thing I want is the one thing I can't have, you.

Never Again

The only song I wrote during my Junior year of high school.

Never Again

Do you know what you put me through?
I don't ask too much.
I just don't want to get hurt again.
That just isn't how things work out.

Chorus:
Never again will I let myself feel.
I prefer being numb.
Not knowing why I care.
You played with my mind.
Never again.

What did I do to deserve this?
Am I not good enough?
I thought you cared, but you never truly shared how you felt about me.

Chorus:
Never again will I let myself feel.
I prefer being numb.
Not knowing why I care.
You played with my mind.
Never again.

Was it all a game?
Would you play me that same now that you know I really thought it was real?

Broken Promises

Back to poetry. This is from my Junior year of high school.

Broken Promises

My life has been filled with broken promises, and lies in which I thought were true.
If you would've told me the sky was green, I would've believed you.
Now my naive search for people who actually care about me is through.
My insecurities are taking over, and I have nothing left to believe in.

Idealistic Dream

This is definitely one of my favorite songs. It is also one of the only songs where I wrote music to go along with it.

Idealistic Dream

You don't even know what I see.
Somehow you make all the bad go away.
Maybe if I were a different person you wouldn't look at me the same.

Chorus:
Your eyes pierce my soul, my idealistic dream.
You make everything alright.
I feel I am losing myself slowly.
As long as you're here I know I'm still alive.

I've been ignored for so very long.
If you didn't have so many girls to choose from, you could see how happy we would be.

Chorus:
Your eyes pierce my soul, my idealistic dream.
You make everything alright.
I feel I am losing myself slowly.
As long as you're here I know I'm still alive.

Such an obsessive personality.
I'm so blind from denying reality.
Trying to find ways to stand out, but I can't compete anymore.

Chorus:
Your eyes pierce my soul, my idealistic dream.
You make everything alright.
I feel I am losing myself slowly.
As long as you're here I know I'm still alive.

Your eyes pierce my soul.
My idealistic dream.
Your eyes pierce my soul.
You mean everything to me.
I know I'm still alive when you are near.
Please be here.

Always Known

Always Known

I thought I knew what I wanted.
Something I forced upon myself.
Dreams created my fake reality.
I ignored my possibilities.

Chorus:
I've never been able to see what's in front of me.
I always passed you off as too good for me.
I think you know what I see.
You must have always known.

How you've gotten me through amazes me.
Just having you around makes me happy.
Wondering what you think of me.

Chorus:
I've never been able to see what's in front of me.
I always passed you off as too good for me.
I think you know what I see.
You must have always known.

I wonder sometimes if I really deserve your attention.
That you think I'm a person I can't be.
I realize I'm wrong whenever you look at me.

Chorus:
I've never been able to see what's in front of me.
I always passed you off as too good for me.
I think you know what I see.
You must have always known.

So Confused

So Confused

I don't want you to get hurt.
I don't mean to play the games I do.
It's just that I'm so confused.
I can't even comprehend what I've put you through.

Chorus:
How did I get in this mess?
I don't know what to do.
I like him, I like you.
I don't know how to choose.

I know it's hard for you to understand.
My thoughts are the center of my misery.
I just want you to be happy.
All I seem to bring is sorrow.

Chorus:
How did I get in this mess?
I don't know what to do.
I like him, I like you.
I don't know how to choose.

You have to decide what to do.
It's really all up to you.
I'll apologize from the start before I might break your heart.

Never Will Be

This song is in my musical, but in a completely different format. I don't know exactly what the changed lyrics are because my computer has been in repair for the last month.

Never Will Be

I'm sitting here thinking more than I should.
Seeing your face and your smile in the distance.
The vision is torn away from me leaving me with the thought that you have left.

Chorus:
This time I know that it is goodbye forever.
I know you won't be coming back.
It's a cruel truth to deal with.
Knowing that I can't let go of something that never was and never will be.

I seem to be the one that gets hurt the most.
I'm always the one to take the fall.
Clinging for every strand left from the past to hold on to.
Never willing to give up.

Chorus:
This time I know that it is goodbye forever.
I know you won't be coming back.
It's a cruel truth to deal with.
Knowing that I can't let go of something that never was and never will be.

I'm breaking apart.
Pieces of me are scattering on the floor.
I wait for you to feel the same way about me.
The sad thing is that day will never happen.

Too Late (I Loved You)

Too Late (I Loved You)

I knew things were different between us.
They were special somehow.
I never thought I would live without you.
The pain is far from gone.
How could I not have realized.
Now I know that...

Chorus:
I loved you too late.
I needed you too late.
I don't know how to move on.
You found somebody who couldn't live without you.
Now you are gone.

I stand outside every night, even in the rain.
Hoping someday I'll see you again.
There are so many things I need to ask you.
Maybe you can tell me why...

Chorus:
I loved you too late.
I needed you too late.
I don't know how to move on.
You found somebody who couldn't live without you.
Now you are gone.

Why did my dreams fade away?
Why am I left without you in my life?
I can't find anyone to take your place.
I compare everyone to you.
It's all my fault because...

Chorus:
I loved you too late.
I needed you too late.
I don't know how to move on.
You found somebody who couldn't live without you.
Now you are gone.

Girlfriend Substitute

I wrote a lot of song lyrics during my sophomore year of high school. A lot of the lyrics will be making their way into my musical "Song for November".

Girlfriend Substitute

You act like nothing has changed.
You talk to me the same.
You smile and walk away every single day.

Chorus:
I'm a girlfriend substitute.
That's all I'll ever be.
Can't tell the truth from the lies.
Caught up in a moment.
I've been left behind more than once in my life.

If you only saw the way you look at me you would understand why I could be so confused.
You mean everything to me but I mean nothing to you.

Chorus:
I'm a girlfriend substitute.
That's all I'll ever be.
Can't tell the truth from the lies.
Caught up in a moment.
I've been left behind more than once in my life.

Don't say words if you don't mean them.
All they do is play with my mind.
I'm always the one people depend on.
Why can't I be the one they want?

Chorus:
I'm a girlfriend substitute.
That's all I'll ever be.
Can't tell the truth from the lies.
Caught up in a moment.
I've been left behind more than once in my life.
Nothing will ever change.

Sad Lullaby

The last song from 9th grade.

Sad Lullaby

I sing my sad lullaby.
They're the songs that make me cry.
I've tried to move on, but baby I'm not that strong.

The songs we used to dance they put me in a trance.
I know you're not coming back.
It's only you I lack.

The time went by so quickly.
The memories run right through me.
I wish that you were here.
Can you sense my fear?

Don't Go

Don't Go

You are leaving.
I sit in the dark.
I start to cry.
Something inside of me, I feel it die.

Chorus:
Don't go, don't go.
I know you don't want to leave me.
Don't go, don't go.
I need you to be here with me.

I thought that I was OK, but my happiness is fading away.
How can you leave me like this?
You don't know what this is doing to me.

Chorus:
Don't go, don't go.
I know you don't want to leave me.
Don't go, don't go.
I need you to be here with me.

You are the one that makes me happy.
When you aren't here I feel empty.
What will I do without you here?
I feel so much sadness inside.

Chorus:
Don't go, don't go.
I know you don't want to leave me.
Don't go, don't go.
I need you to be here with me.

I don't want to say goodbye.
I may never see you again.
My life doesn't make sense without you.
Please stay.

I See It In Your Eyes

I See It In Your Eyes

Having you here, it means so much to me.
I don't know what to say.
You take my breath away.

Chorus:
I've never seen this before, and now I see it in your eyes.
Your smile just makes me want to sit and think how lucky I am.

You make me feel amazing.
You make me feel special just the way you talk to me.

Chorus:
I've never seen this before, and now I see it in your eyes.
Your smile just makes me want to sit and think how lucky I am.

Do we feel the same way?
It doesn't even matter to me.
Just having you here makes everything better.

Chorus:
I've never seen this before, and now I see it in your eyes.
Your smile just makes me want to sit and think how lucky I am.

Why Are You Leaving Me?

Why Are You Leaving Me?

Why do you get so close to me?
Is is just to bring me down?
I'm feeling out of place.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know where to go or who to turn to.

Chorus:
Why are you pushing me away?
Why are you pushing me away?
Is it because you're not getting any younger?
You're already so much older.
It's a big slap in the face, a big slap in the face.
I didn't even say I love you.
So why are you leaving me?

You don't need to protect me.
I can take care of myself just fine.
As you walk away don't turn around to say goodbye.
Having you here doesn't help me.

Chorus:
Why are you pushing me away?
Why are you pushing me away?
Is it because you're not getting any younger?
You're already so much older.
It's a big slap in the face, a big slap in the face.
I didn't even say I love you.
So why are you leaving me?

The longer you wait here isn't going to make me change my mind.
You already made you decision before and left me all alone.

Chorus:
Why are you pushing me away?
Why are you pushing me away?
Is it because you're not getting any younger?
You're already so much older.
It's a big slap in the face, a big slap in the face.
I didn't even say I love you.
So why are you leaving me?

Understand

Song lyrics from 9th grade.

Understand

I see you standing there.
You're indescribable.
There's nothing I can say.
The silence is deafening.

Chorus:
I'll understand if you don't feel the same way.
Things didn't work out as I had planned.
Maybe someday you'll understand.

I write you, but you never have anything to say.
My stories may be asinine, but they mean something to me.

Chorus:
I'll understand if you don't feel the same way.
Things didn't work out as I had planned.
Maybe someday you'll understand.

I'm too confused to even try to comprehend anything in my mind.
An endless story I don't understand.

Chorus:
I'll understand if you don't feel the same way.
Things didn't work out as I had planned.
Maybe someday you'll understand.

Darkness

More 9th grade poetry...

Darkness

Poverty, tragedy, and death are here.
What is the cause of this massive distress?
The sky is dark black as I hide in fear.
I am adorned in a dark evening dress.
When will light shine on my sorrowful home?
Darkness enters my cold, death-ridden heart.
Will I be forced to wander all alone?
Why does everyone I love want to part?
Who will love me in the state that I'm in?
Nothing seems possible for me this night.
I feel ugly and deformed from within.
They say that I'm a great friend and I'm bright.
I'm sick of people saying I'm just nice.
I feel as cold and as dreary as ice.

Dark Clouds

9th grade writing assignment - hurray for iambic pentameter!

Dark Clouds

The dark clouds consume my head late at night.
I lie there terrified to fall asleep.
I cry when you are not holding me tight.
I know not of what is going to creep.
The wind blows, and the old wood door slams shut.
Why have you left me, and will you come back?
When with you butterflies are in my gut.
In my life it is only you I lack.
Without you I will never be the same.
Who is responsible for my life's theft?
Which one of us is the person to blame?
I feel empty, like there is nothing left.
I hope that you will soon realize your love.
It's time to return to my home above.

My Life

Moving on to 9th grade poetry... I entered prior poems into a contest and won. Some critic said my poetry was "the soul's turmoil". I didn't like that phrase so I wrote the following poem.

My Life

My emotions are like running water, from my head. My words ramble on without end. No one ever listens, and silence is deafening. I'm numb, not knowing what to think or what to say. I want people to be my friend, but wishing isn't enough. My dreams are my escape. Without them my life would be a hysteric mass of confusion. I know who I am. I'm happy...I think. Maybe it is just that. I think too much. Over-analyzing every situation without end. Loneliness is panic. Too much time of nothingness. Every noise and every shadow. I wish people wouldn't be so mean. Their anger and jealousy stabs me like one hundred daggers. Sometimes I ask why am I the one who people hate? I do nothing to hurt them. They say my writing is the soul's turmoil. You think I believe that. No! I have a better word for it. That is my life....

Are We Just Friends?

One of the best known songs from the JLB/SDJ project. I sang this at the 8th grade talent show. Definitely a favorite of mine...

Are We Just Friends?

I called to talk to you yesterday.
You sounded confused.
You muttered something I couldn't hear.
And neverminds got in the way.

Chorus:
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever more.
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever and evermore.

I should have said something.
But nothing came to my mind.
How can you put the way that I feel into such few words?

Chorus:
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever more.
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever and evermore.

I couldn't handle not talking to you again.
That just wouldn't seem right.
But I guess I'll find out.
All I have to do is pick up the phone and try.

Chorus:
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever more.
Are we just friends or are we more?
Let's make a decision or we'll wonder forever and evermore.

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

More from the JLB/SDJ Project. We came up with the concept of this song from a book we read in elementary called "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom".

Chicka Chicka Boom Boom

Most girls hearts go pitter-patter when you are around.
But I want you to know, baby, that mine beats to a different sound.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom baby Chicka Boom Boom

Chorus:
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom me and you.
Always and forever.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
Can't you see we were meant to be together?

I thought that I was in control of myself, but how could I be so wrong.
Whenever I get you into sight my heart goes out of its mind.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom baby Chicka Boom Boom.

Chorus:
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom me and you.
Always and forever.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
Can't you see we were meant to be together?

I think I'm falling for you baby.
Can't you see it's true?
Whenever I get close to you, if you only knew.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom baby Chicka Boom Boom.

Chorus:
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom me and you.
Always and forever.
Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.
Can't you see we were meant to be together?

Only In My Dreams

This is part of the JLB/SDJ Project. I was brought on to assist in writing songs for my friend Jamie Lynn Bence along with Greg Gerard. We came out with three lovely songs. The next three songs are part of that collaborative process.

Only In My Dreams

Only in my dreams you love me.
That's the only time you care.
When I close my eyes I have no fear because in my dreams you are near.

Chorus:
Dreams aren't always what they seem.
But I still wish my dreams were real.

My friends say I'm crazy, but they don't even have a clue.
Nobody knows the way I feel in my dreams when you are real.

Chorus:
Dreams aren't always what they seem.
But I still wish my dreams were real.

Every night you wait for me.
Never will anyone be able to feel the way I feel.
Only to me you are real.

Chorus:
Dreams aren't always what they seem.
But I still wish my dreams were real.

I shut my eyes and go to sleep.
Because only in my dreams you're real.

I Have to Leave...

Again I wasn't really that sad at the time of writing this. I was just listening to too much Garbage and Radiohead.

I Have to Leave...

I want to leave.
I want to leave you alone in this world before you leave me first.
I want to leave.
I want to leave you with no one to trust.
No one to care.

Chorus:
A world without you would be a cold lonely place.
Maybe if I leave you alone without a trace there would be no pain.
Nothing to gain.

I want to leave.
I want to leave you so I can be the strong one.
So I can have my place without your face.

Chorus:
A world without you would be a cold lonely place.
Maybe if I leave you alone without a trace there would be no pain.
Nothing to gain.

It's obvious you don't need me.
I'm just a burden that's here.
I have nothing left now.
I have everything to fear with you not being here.

Chorus:
A world without you would be a cold lonely place.
Maybe if I leave you alone without a trace there would be no pain.
Nothing to gain.

I have no one to turn to, but I must leave.
I cannot understand you.
I can barely breathe without you near.
I need you here.

Always and Forever

Always and Forever

As I look into the long stretches of time, the only face I see is yours.
I wonder what will happen because you're never going to realize I like you.

Chorus:
I wonder what will be in the future when you won't remember me.
I'll still think of you.
Always and forever it's true.

Friends only for you, but you mean so much to me.
I guess that you can't see.
It's only just me.

Chorus:
I wonder what will be in the future when you won't remember me.
I'll still think of you.
Always and forever it's true.

Time slips by really fast.
Memories are in the past.
I want things to be true at last.

Chorus:
I wonder what will be in the future when you won't remember me.
I'll still think of you.
Always and forever it's true.

Always and forever.
Nothing ever lasts.
No matter if it's in the future or the past.

Chorus:
I wonder what will be in the future when you won't remember me.
I'll still think of you.
Always and forever it's true.

Always and forever it's true.

Someone I'll Love

Continuing on with embarrassing songs from 8th grade.

Someone I'll Love

It's the beginning of the year now.
I don't know know how I feel, yea.
I'd like to know where we stand.
Or are we just friends?

Chorus:
Because I'd like to start over from the very beginning.
I can't handle the emptiness.
A hysteria of loneliness.
Can't help but dream of someone I'll love.

I'm so confused now beyond my wildest dreams.
I guess I'm just crazy.
I must be going out of my mind.

Chorus:
Because I'd like to start over from the very beginning.
I can't handle the emptiness.
A hysteria of loneliness.
Can't help but dream of someone I'll love.

I still don't understand why I feel this way.
From the moment I saw you my life had changed.
I bet you never knew that I felt this way.

Chorus:
Because I'd like to start over from the very beginning.
I can't handle the emptiness.
A hysteria of loneliness.
Can't help but dream of someone I'll love.

Could you be that someone I'll love.

I've Got to Get Over You

This song pretty much continues the trend of awfulness.

I've Got to Get Over You

I wake up in the morning at 5:50 am.
Next thing I know I'm walking down the halls.
Then I see you.
I glance one, I glance twice.
I don't know what to do .
I've got to get over you.

Chorus:
Lord knows some things weren't meant to be true.
I've got to get over you.

Friends whisper.
Word gets around.
Everyone knows and I'm feeling down.
I've got to get over you.

Chorus:
Lord knows some things weren't meant to be true.
I've got to get over you.

Backstabbing lies or is it truth?
My world collapses with a note.
This cannot be true.
I've got to get over you.

Chorus:
Lord knows some things weren't meant to be true.
I've got to get over you.

I wake up in the morning and I'm feeling blue.
That never happened before I met you.

Locked In, Locked Out

The lyrics I wrote in 8th grade were interesting to say the least. I was inspired to write this song after attending an 8th grade lock-in. I don't know what is going on with the third verse. I seemed to have changed the entire topic of the song.

Locked In, Locked Out

Now how many times have I told you.
Lately it seems as if you don't care about me.
I want to get to you.

Chorus:
Because you're locked in and I'm locked out.
I want to bring you into a world you never knew.
What am I going to do about you.

Butterflies fly high against the sky.
Looking for a destiny that's right.
Have you truly comprehended how green the grass is and how the sky is blue?

Chorus:
Because you're locked in and I'm locked out.
I want to bring you into a world you never knew.
What am I going to do about you.

A world with peace and happiness.
A world with no fear.
A world where children sing gracefully to the skies.
A world where no one cries.

Chorus:
Because you're locked in and I'm locked out.
I want to bring you into a world you never knew.
What am I going to do about you.
What am I going to do about you.

Hello is Just as Hard as Goodbye

The last of the 8th grade poetry...

Hello is Just as Hard as Goodbye

Just like having a beginning, every thing must have an end. Hello can be just as hard as goodbye. Goodbye, probably the most dreaded word in the human language. So much emotion, memories, and feelings can be put into a simple goodbye. Just thinking about goodbye makes my eyes swell up with tears. Especially when it is goodbye for good, but nothing is ever really permanent. That is where hello comes in. Hello replaces the sorrow that is in goodbye. So hello is my cover-up, my mask. To know there will always be hello. I will not say goodbye because we will say hello again.

A Page Without Writing

A Page Without Writing

People walk out of my life too fast. I need them to be there for me, and they leave. They just leave me. I do hide my feelings, that I can't help. What is my life without them? A page without writing, or a beach that no human foot has ever touched. But still, a page has a book and the beach has the ocean. I have no one! I'm lost, for who will I turn to when you're gone? I am in the dark, and there won't be light for awhile. Then how will I see? I won't, I will be forced to stumble upon a path I am unsure of! My life is being turned upside down. People don't understand me, they never will. My life of eternal sadness is apparent to me.

No Matter What Happens

No Matter What Happens

No matter what happens I will always remember you. A promise almost always broken. But how could I forget you? The fights and feuds were many, but there were good times too. We said friends forever, but forever you were unsure. I saw your confusion. I saw your anger. I would never hurt you! But trust was fragile. Now I'm left without you in this cruel world. I am your enemy that you try to ignore. How can you forget so soon? Just erase it from your mind. No matter what happens, no matter what I do! We are friends to me, but not for you.

Not Goodbye

8th grade poetry...

Not Goodbye
Goodbye is never goodbye forever. It is more of a see you later. If I have my way fate will make sure I see you in the future. Until then I must say goodbye to you my friend.

There Are No More Tears

I wasn't really as miserable as these poems make me sound. I was being a bit over-dramatic. 8th grade poetry...

There Are No More Tears

People have made it very clear that no one wants to be my friend. No one wants me here. There are no more smiles upon my face, and no more tears to cry. For these tears in which I long for, have dried up in my eyes. Did I try to hard? Or did I not try at all? I can not answer that question myself. That is the one great downfall. Is this the end of civilization as we know it?Or just one more lousy day? I can not wait for the dawn break of one more . So I can leave my weary self behind in yesterday. So good bye day in hopes you will never return. I hate thee with a passion that will forever burn. Can someone just be my friend and not judge me. For to say good bye is just an addition to my own misery.

What's the Matter with You People?

More 8th grade poetry...

What's the Matter with You People?

Take a look in the mirror. Do you like what you see? Apparently you don't. Because you still make fun of me. See but that's OK. Your jealousy makes me strong. It gives me the power to live life and carry on.

Who Can Help Me?

I wrote most of the next few poems for middle school forensics. This is all 8th grade stuff.

Who Can Help Me?

I'm suffering in my own presence. I'm drowning in my words. I fear everything.What happened to me? I need to be at peace with myself. I don't know what is wrong. Something in me snapped. I don't know what to do. Everything is really confusing. I don't know how it got to this point. I am completely emotionless. I don't feel. I just stare off into nothingness. I have nothing to say. I can't sleep at night. Nothing has meaning anymore. I can't even cry. I'm not the person I used to be. I want to go back,but there is something standing in my way. I don't have to hide anymore, but I do. It is like something is surrounding me. It is blocking out everything. So now I am left in something that doesn't make sense. The only thing I do feel is pain and anguish. How can I make this stop? Who can help me?

This One is For You

I apparently get mad when people assume certain songs are about them. This is another one from 7th grade.

This One is For You

I thought that you were kind, but I think I've changed my mind.
You we're perfect in my mind.

Chorus:
Oh and this one really is about you.
No doubt about it.
I could scream and shout it, oh and shout it.
This one's for you.

I thought that you were the one for me.
My plans changed really quickly.
You're not my prince charming.
Not anymore.

Chorus:
Oh and this one really is about you.
No doubt about it.
I could scream and shout it, oh and shout it.
This one's for you.

Cinderella story.
Fairy tale.
Kiss a frog turn into a prince.
You be the frog and I don't even want to think about what you'd turn into.

Chorus:
Oh and this one really is about you.
No doubt about it.
I could scream and shout it, oh and shout it.
This one's for you.

I wonder what could have been, but I can't stay in the past.
I must go on.
Now tell me, aren't you happy that there finally is a song about you?

I Can't Live Without Your Love

I really wish I could explain this song. I was listening to a little too much Diana Ross when I wrote this. Another one from 7th grade...

I Can't Live Without Your Love

Walking around.
Thinking about you.
I wish you loved me the way I love you.

Chorus:
I can't live without your love for one more day.
Oh, no, no.
I'll waste away without you.

My friends say I'm wrong.
Well I can prove them wrong.
Yes I can.
Just go ahead and watch me.

Chorus:
I can't live without your love for one more day.
Oh, no, no.
I'll waste away without you.

Well I guess I really don't care.
I'll still walk along singing my song for a while.
That's what I'll do.
I'm waiting for you.

Chorus:
I can't live without your love for one more day.
Oh, no, no.
I'll waste away without you.

Daydreaming

Lyrics from 7th grade. That's not a typo, I really did end the song with just the word "daydreaming".

Daydreaming

I'm never going to win you.
Your not mine to have.
But who says dreams aren't real.
Because I'm with you in my mind.

Chorus:
Daydreaming about you and me.
It's never going to happen that's sad to say.
But I wish you knew how I feel about you.

The skies are blue then I see you.
Maybe we're just not meant to be.
But in my dreams it's real.

Chorus:
Daydreaming about you and me.
It's never going to happen that's sad to say.
But I wish you knew how I feel about you.

Daydreaming.
Fantasizing.
It's hypnotizing.
It's not going to work out for me and you.

Chorus:
Daydreaming about you and me.
It's never going to happen that's sad to say.
But I wish you knew how I feel about you.

Daydreaming.

Goodbye to Thee

Another 7th grade poem. Apparently I was a very emotional child.

Goodbye to Thee

My whole life has been completely entwined with you. That's the way we had planned, but now I am forced to leave you. I will walk down unfamiliar halls with unfamiliar faces, but that won't bother me. It is the thought of not turning around and seeing you. Your face, your smile. It's all gone. Maybe we'll call each other once or twice, but that won't last. My dreams are shattered. I am like a lost little child with no one in the world to protect it from the harsh reality of this cruel world. The memories of sleep-overs and parties are everlasting. Especially when we got into trouble. We always stood up for each other. Now I must push away the hurt and go on in this world in hopes I will find someone like you. Obviously I won't because you are one of a kind. You always have been unique. So in hopes that you will never forget me, I will say goodbye to thee.

Advent

A lovely poem about Advent. This was co-written by Bryn Williams in 7th grade.

Advent
Advent is my favorite season.
If you ask I'll give you a reason.
Because of Jesus Christ our king.
In our minds he'll always ring.
A wreath of hope that has no end.
You try to be a light to your friend.
Four candles burning as bright as can be.
A season of light, peace, and generosity.

Sixteen Roses

This is one of the first songs I ever wrote. I wrote something when I was five, but never finished it. Believe me, it wasn't great. This is the first complete set of lyrics that I have. I was also eight when I wrote this. I don't know why at eight I was writing about being sixteen. I always envisioned this as a country song.

Sixteen Roses

Sitting alone in my room.
With nothing else to do.
Parents gone for two week.
I hope they didn't forget me.
Sitting in my room crying myself to sleep.

Chorus:
Sixteen roses sitting on my chair.
Hoping someone would remember me.
Hoping someone would care.
It's no fun turning sixteen when no one is there.

Where's my party?
Where's my friends?
Where's my cake?
Where's my band?
I'm sitting in my room crying myself to sleep.

Chorus:
Sixteen roses sitting on my chair.
Hoping someone would remember me.
Hoping someone would care.
It's no fun turning sixteen when no one is there.

Candles burning bright.
Time is running out.
Hoping someone would hear me.
Hoping my dreams will be.

Chorus:
Sixteen roses sitting on my chair.
Hoping someone would remember me.
Hoping someone would care.
It's not fun turning sixteen when no one is there.

It's no fun turning sixteen when no one even cares.
No one even cares.
No it's no fun turning sweet sixteen when no one is there.
It's no fun turning sixteen when no one is there.

The Lord's Lamb

I said I was posting early stuff. I was eight and in 5th grade when I wrote this...

The Lord's Lamb
You shall never walk in darkness upon God's golden path so bright.
God is your shepherd and you are his lamb.
So look to him when the light is dim.
For he will watch out for you through thick and thin.